Up (not Down)

Hey, there. Pardon my absence.

At first I was going to write a whole paragraph of excuses but that’s not what this post is going to be about. This post is going to be about going up. 

The struggle to keep things going up is intensifying. It’s easy when everything is together but when thing start slowly falling apart, you have to try a little harder. Be a little quicker. Focus a little better. It’s like playing Jenga.

When the game begins and the tower is intact, you can pretty much pull at whichever block you choose. The longer the game goes on and the more unstable the tower gets, every move becomes more calculated. If you want to win, you can’t just pull out any old block.

Currently, things that I thought were coming together didn’t so I’m looking at quite a few holes in the Jenga tower that is my life and I have to recalculate. Normally, when things fall apart, I don’t even try to put forth as much energy or effort as I did before things got bad but in retrospect, that was the absolute worst thing to do; let it all fall down and just build from there. I want to build things up and for them to stay up, even if I lose a bit on the way up, those holes can be refilled, those bricks can be replaced.

For me, those bricks are my self-esteem, my confidence, my self-efficacy, my joy, my optimism, my passion. When I was younger it took so much for my foundation, my bricks, to be rattled but now it seems like with every fall, my bricks bounce off the table, hit the floor and scatter. It takes much too long to get them back together and start to rebuild.

So now, my focus is on going up. Starting over isn’t an option. Every time I lose a block, I’m immediately finding somewhere to put it back in.

“The passion that underlies your desire for success is unique. This makes you unlike others. You cannot simply accept what life has to offer; you aspire for more.”

I got this quote in the results of an online quiz I took a long time ago. I found it randomly cleaning out my dropbox the other night. But it rings true; I always aspire for more. I always aspire for up!

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