Monday Things

Today kicked my ass y’all. I got my ass dragged and then handed to me but I made it. Here’s what got me through, brain-dump style.

• Food. Breakfast and two cups of coffee. The cold pizza I brought for lunch but didn’t eat until I was in the car on the way home from work.
• My old neighbor lady. I gave her dog some of the treats I made for Lego this weekend. She texted me and said she loved me. (Proof that I’m not a completely terrible person, yay!)
• Water. Y’all. Some cool crisp water will restore you. Woke me all the way up after my nap and got me to this Starbucks. For a second I thought I wasn’t gonna make it. I was in the bed under the covers and everything. 
• A good weekend. I spent my weekend cleaning up like a madwoman. I got rid of the eyesore armchair in my living room. Switched up my decor. Popped in a new glade plug-in. It’s like I have a new apartment. It was so wonderful to come home to today. 
• People who asked how my day was today and genuinely cared about my answer. I talk to people all day at work. Most of it is the textbook corporate America elevator talk: “How’re ya doing?” “Do anything fun this weekend?” etc. Most of it obviously shallow. But there are a few people who always make it a point to speak and ask me how I’m doing. It’s such a needed break from the chaos of the day. 
• Starbucks. I reeeeally don’t like change and there’s something soothing about coming to a place and knowing exactly what to expect. (Well, the location I’m currently at remodeled and installed a passcode lock on the bathrooms but it’s mostly still the same. lol)
• Me. Sometimes I get so focused on getting ish done that I don’t pause and step back to realize how not normal this all is. I’m the ish. I had to remind myself of that today. I also had to remind myself that life in it’s current iteration is temporary. I just gotta keep my head down, delight in joy wherever and whenever I can find it, and keep it moving. 
• Goldlink. He’s dope af. Enjoy. I gotta get back to this thesis proposal. 

What do you do when happiness doesn’t come with an on switch?

It’s a rainy, blah-y Sunday and despite all of my efforts, I’m in a rut that I can’t get out of. Today, I attribute this rut mostly to a slight case of SADs and this cold I’ve been trying my hardest to fend off all week but I can’t deny that there’s been an underlying, unceasing, unhappy hum to life lately and I’ve finally figured out why.